Aliwal Shoal Report October 2010 - Basie Ackermann

General conditions

Aliwal Shoal has been voted the most popular holiday destination this month on Ftv (Fish tv) channel, due to it being absolutely crime free, according to a waterproof survey done on 527 pelagics by Price Waterhouse (!) & Coopers.

The same survey also showed a lot of complaints coming through about the overcrowding though. There was a lot of jostling and pectoral fin bumping going on, especially on the scenic boardwalk along the Outside Edge. Very crowded, but every fish super friendly and relaxed, grinning at each other and waving the pectoral fins without pause as they pass each other on this busy corridor. Life on Aliwal was good this month. Every fish and his family made use of this rare opportunity, to experience the peace and tranquility of Aliwal in October.
Peace and tranquility under water. No crime whatsoever.
No muggings or attempted muggings, no wild chases or attacks by black – clad intruders armed with spears, and most importantly, no deaths recoded for October. Not one. Statistics to make any Community Policing Forum proud.

Reason for this abnormality was fool proof anti crime measures:
Howling winds from both directions never abating, huge wind swell ,whether it’s east or west, horrific instant colon – contracting launch conditions (for potential criminals {although colon contracting is probably a good exercise for them}), and a persistent reverse current all contributed to the greatest holiday on earth.

The majority of holiday makers were sporting bikinis and Speedos, as the water temperature was on average 23 degrees Celsius.
Some families even managed to put up umbrellas on some days, as there was no underwater wind. Other days however they were blasted by a strong reverse one, and the only day they had a north south was on the 17th, but the tanning stopped as a big black cloud blocked out all the sunlight.

Other days sunnies and suntan lotion were needed, as the sunlight blasted through clean, 20 metre plus visibility. Blue skies, warm water and no criminals. Heaven under water.

Now if you’ve actually read this far and even followed and understood this report to a lesser degree, then there is something off about you. Or you are seriously BORED.

Enjoy our Oceans!
Basie Ackermann